Porcelain & Plumbing

Porcelain & Plumbing
(inspired by actual events)
by Ipsit Dixit

We had begun searching for a new house
To leave our apartment behind;
Not that we’re really the type to grouse:
We’re just the “fee simple” kind.

We wanted a place with more than one bath
To accommodate guests staying over;
We saw a listing with one full and one half,
And drove out to go look it over.

The first level clearly was just top class
With quality work all around,
With hardwood and tile and lustrous glass,
And hardly a flaw to be found.

We saw the unfinished basement, though,
With concrete floor in minimalist mode.
We looked to see where the “half bath” would go,
And saw a free-standing commode.

I sat on the lid and I looked all around,
Viewing each bare bulb that shone,
Peering into each corner of the grey concrete ground,
And up to the kitchen, from that porcelain throne.

Porcelain and plumbing we had for sure,
But not sink, nor walls, nor door.

I think the advert was a wee bit misleading,
When all the “half” had was only flush seating.